Red dwarf
Avsnitt: Trojan
Lister (Craig Charles) och Cat (Danny John-Jules) sitter och småpratar vid sparkarna på rymdskeppet Red Dwarf, då Cat frågar vad det är för bok som Lister har hittat:
Cat: "Hey! What's this?
Lister: "Found that in Petersen's quarters. Some crazy stuff in that, man. For instance, did you know that in the 1970s in Sweden, 20% of all traffic accidents involved a moose?"
Cat: "A moose?"
Lister: "It's crazy, that, isn't it?"
Cat: "Well, if they're stupid enough to let 'em drive, what the hell do they expect?"
Lister: "The moose aren't driving."
Cat: "You just said they were."
Lister: "They're not driving - just causing the accidents."
Cat: "You mean they're in the back fooling around, distracting the driver? That is insane. Why they giving them a lift in the first place. Let 'em walk! They got legs!"
Lister: "No, the moose aren't in the cars, antlers out the sunroof. They're in the roads, moosing about, crossing roads, causing accidents."
Cat: "You mean they're not looking left and right?"
Lister: "Exactly."
Cat: "Not using the pedestrian crossings?"
Lister: "Exactly."
Cat: "Not paying attention to whether it's a little green man or a red man? Of course they're not! They're mooses! Eesh!"
Cat: "These Swedes - they expect too much."
Audio file
På ett annat håll i rymdskeppet sitter Rimmer (Chris Barrie) och pluggar för ett svårt prov, Astro-Nav, som han ska ta för att nå en högre position i rymdflottan. Han har dock gjort provet tio gånger tidigare och missat samtliga, så han är ganska deppig och tror att han aldrig kommer att klara av provet. Han är dock aningen snorkig mot Lister en stund senare och säger han Lister minsann aldrig skulle klara av ett så svårt prov som Astro-Nav, så när Lister får en chans att ge tillbaks så tar han den. Kryten (Robert Llewellyn) och Cat råkar hamna i närheten, svarar på frågan och hjälper därmed till att verkligen trycka ner Rimmer ytterligare...
Rimmer: "A lateral-thinking question. I've never been good at these."
Lister: "Come on, then. Come on, hit me."
Rimmer: "Right, it's 1971. A Swedish man crashes into a tree. What causes the accident? It's nothing medical. Nothing wrong with the car."
Lister: "Right, so, um... Swedish guy drives into a tree. What caused the accident? Answer's in the back, right? Right. Wow! It's a really hard one, that. I mean, you've probably got to be pretty damn smart to get a question like that right. You know what? I'm gonna go for a moose."
Rimmer: "A moose?!"
Lister: "Yeah, it was in the road. He swerved to avoid the moose."
Rimmer: "Are you insane? How can it be a...? It's a moose."
Lister: "Sometimes life is good."
Kryten: "Ah, sir, you asked me to remind you it's ten minutes to your exam."
Rimmer: "Kryten, a lateral-thinking question. Just got it myself. It's 1971. A Swedish man drives into a tree. What causes the accident?"
Kryten: "It's a moose, sir. He swerves and hits a tree."
Rimmer: "Is it me? How did you get that?"
Cat: "Get what?"
Rimmer: I've got something for you. A lateral-thinking question."
Cat: "A lottery what?"
Rimmer: "Ah, I knew I could rely on you. What caused this accident?"
Cat: "What accident?"
Rimmer: "No, it's a question, all right? Are you ready? It's 1971. A man..."
Cat: "Was he Swedish?"
Rimmer: "Yes."
Cat: "A moose. It was a moose. He swerved to avoid it and hit a tree. Oh, the moose is on the road, by the way, not in the car driving. Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah!"
Audio file
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