David Lettermans topp-10-lista

Skärmdump från pratshowen Later Show with David Letterman

David Letterman, känd från showen Late Show with David Letterman, har i varje program en topp-10-lista som han radar upp och räknar ner. Det är alltid komiska poänger i listan och det brukar ofta vara aktuell även om det finns många undantag till det också. Här kommer en lista på listor där Nobel nämns, något av det svenskaste som finns:

Top Ten Ways My Life Has Changed Since Winning The Nobel Prize

10. Can end almost any argument by asking, And did you ever win a Nobel Prize?.
9. Whenever I bring it to Applebee's restaurant, I get a free plate of riblets heading my way.
8. When I enter a room, I shout, Nobel Prize winner in the hizzouse!.
7. At most 7-11s, I can get service even if I choose not to wear shoes or a shirt.
6. Instead of saying, Kiss my ass to guys who cut me off in traffic, I now say, Kiss my Nobel Prize-winning ass.
5. I've been banned from casinos in seven states.
4. When I call K-Rock to request Aerosmith, they play Aerosmith.
3. Any meaningless crap I say, the next day it's in the Wall Street Journal.
2. Another Friday, another P. Diddy party.
1. In Stockholm, I get more tail than Frank Sinatra.

Top Ten Science Papers That Won't Be Winning A Nobel Prize

10. Sex and Pregnancy: A Possible Connection
9. E=MC3: That's Right, Einstein, I Said Cubed!
8. Sweet and Sour Pork: How Can It Be Both? At The Same Time?
7. Lincoln: The Man, The President, The Town Car
6. Whoops!: I Blew My $800,000 Research Grant At The MGM Grand Casino
5. Kraft Macaroni & Cheese: So Cheesy, It Should Be Called 'Kraft Cheese & Macaroni'
4. There Sure Are A Lot of 'Smiths' In The Phone Book, Dude
3. The Isotope Conjecture: A Fake Title So My Wife Won't Look Inside Here and See My Letters To Penthouse Forum
2. Why The People Who Award The Nobel Prize Are A Bunch Of Jerks
1. Gravity: The Devil's Tool

Top Ten Signs You're Not Going to Win a Nobel Prize

10. You think the capital of Sweden is Sweden City.
9. You built an artificial heart, but it's the size of a bread truck.
8.Closest you've ever come to doing a scientific experiment -- putting a sleeping friend's hand in warm water.
7.Despite all your brilliant ideas, the nurses won't let you have anything sharp to write them down.
6.You're the CBS executive who picked the new fall lineup.
5.For the past 10 years, your left thumb has been stuck in a test tube.
4.Title of your doctoral dissertation: Yee-ouch! Them Pins is Pointy!
3.Your theory of relativity is E=MC Hammer.
2.You're known around the University as Professor Gump.
1.Your first name is Boutros Boutros -- but your last name ain't Ghali.

Top Ten Signs You're Too Fat

10. Only thing you read: takeout menus.
9. You've had a garage door installed in your bedroom.
8. Got cable just for the Food Network.
7. You skip your son's wedding because you don't want to miss Blimpie's 2-for-1 sale.
6. Red Cross changed your blood type from O to Pancake batter.
5. Scientists won a Nobel Prize for measuring your gravitational field.
4. Blinking leaves you winded.
3. You buy ham by the square foot.
2. Southwest Airlines makes you purchase 3 tickets.
1. You start every day with a nice, steaming cup of gravy.

Top Ten Signs Your Kitty Is A Genius

10. Meows in six languages.
9. He's the only one in your family who could assemble your Ikea coffee table.
8. His whiskers are Bluetooth enabled.
7. He only purrs when Meet the Press is on.
6. Won 28 grand on Jeopardy's Kitty Week.
5. He rigged it so he's got 10 lives.
4. Earned the 2005 Nobel Prize in yarn-related sciences.
3. Keeps putting the dog on Ebay.
2. Not only calls 911 for you, also calls Z-100 whenever you need your Aerosmith fix.
1. Winces everytime he hears George W. Bush say, Nuke-yoo-lar.

Top Ten Cool Things About Winning an Academy Award

10. Weld it to the hood, and your '83 Buick becomes a kick-ass Oscarmobile.
9. Might get offered the lead in the sequel to Cabin Boy.
8. Free lifetime supply of Oscar Mayer Weiners.
7. Now have something else to crush ice with besides my Nobel Peace Prize.
6. It's fun to set off metal detectors at airports, then say, Oh, that must be my Best Actress Oscar.
5. When I take tapes back to Blockbuster, no rewinding necessary.
4. Add glasses to the Oscar, and it looks like Paul Shaffer.
3. Maybe now, if I hope and pray, Leonardo will finally notice me.
2. If they give me a bad review, I can have Siskel and Ebert's thumbs cut off.
1. My new pool boy: Steven Spielberg.

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