Fästningen i Ardennerna

Under andra världskrigets Ardenneroffensiv låter en belgisk greve en grupp med åtta amerikanska militärer stanna på hans slott, i hopp om att dessa ska skydda slottet mot de framryckande tyskarna. Tiden går och soldaterna blir allt mer rastlösa. För att råda bot på det beordrar deras överordnade, Major Falconer (Burt Lancaster), att de ska sätta upp en pjäs. Dialogen som följer utspinner sig sedan majoren lämnat rummet:

Beckman (Patrick O'Neal): "I got a good play. This army stops at a medieval castle. They're embattled. Now, they can surrender and save the castle, or they can hold."
Rossi (Peter Falk): "It won't work, sir. It should be about screwing."
Pvt Benjamin (Al Freeman, Jr.): "Screwing was invented by the Swedes during the first world war."
Rossi: "I got a play."
Beckman: "Tell it."
Rossi: "A small man comes on stage with a great erection."
Cpl. Clearboy (Scott Wilson): "Then what?"
Rossi: "Well, that's all I got. Just the first act."
Elk (James Patterson): "That won't carry the play by itself."
Rossi: "Well, suppose it goes down and down and down in each succeeding act."
Pvt Benjamin: "To infinity."
Sgt. DeVaca (Michael Conrad): "Nope. Any actor who could play the part would get better offers."
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