The big bang theory

Sheldon (Jim Parsons) har något viktigt att berätta för Leonard (Johnny Galecki):

Sheldon: "Leonard, I've got terrible news."
Leonard: "What's going on?"
Sheldon: "Before I tell you, perhaps I should soften the blow. Your face is pleasingly symmetrical."
Leonard: "Just tell me."
Sheldon: "A Swedish team of physicists is trying to scoop our superfluid vortex experiment."
Leonard: "That kinda stinks."
Sheldon: "'That kinda stinks'? Why aren't you more upset? Did I soften the blow too much? Yeah, because this, here, is more like a Picasso painting."
Leonard: "What are we gonna do?"
Sheldon: "Perform the experiment, immediately."
Leonard: "Well, I'd love to, but we need liquid helium, and our shipment is on backorder for a month."
Sheldon: "A month? Are you kidding me? That would've been a good time for you to soften the blow."
Leonard: "That shirt brings out the blue in your eyes."
Sheldon: "Thank you, aren't you sweet."
Leonard: "Let's go check if the university has any helium in reserve."
Sheldon: "Did you know that I almost didn't wear this shirt today!"

De går till kollegan Barry Kripke (John Ross Bowie), för att fråga om han har nåt helium över.

Leonard: "Hey, Barry, we're in trouble. We need liquid helium. Does the department have any we could use?"
Barry: "Sorry, there is a shortage. And what we do have, I need for my quantum excitation study."
Sheldon: "But you won't need much for that."
Barry: "True. But if it's successful, I'm having a party with balloons."
Leonard: "Come on, Barry, there is a Swedish team trying to run our experiment before us. Can you spare any?"
Barry: "Be honest. If the shoe was on the other foot, would you do this for me?"
Leonard: "Yes!"
Sheldon: "Not a chance!"
Leonard: "What are you doing?"
Sheldon: "He said 'Be honest', so I was honest. Didn't your mother tell you? It's the best policy. So what do you say?"
Barry: "Hell no!
Sheldon: "He could've softened the blow."

Leonard och Sheldon blir lite ledsna när de inte får tag på flytande helium så lätt. Deras vänner Howard (Simon Helberg) och Raj (Kunal Nayyar) försöker hitta en lösning:

Sheldon: "Leonard, if that Swedish team beats us, I will never be able to enjoy anything from their country again. Which is a shame, because Swedish meatballs are my favorite toothpick-delivered meatball."
Howard: "If you need liquid helium so bad, I know a guy who can get you some, if you don't ask too many questions."
Leonard: "Who is he?"
Sheldon: "Where does he work?"
Leonard: "How does he get the helium?"
Sheldon: "How many questions are too many questions?"
Leonard: "Maybe he's not for you."
Sheldon: "Four questions. There answer's four."

Sagt och gjort, Howard får i uppdrag att fixa det. Lite senare får Leonard besked om att de kan få tillgång till flytande helium:

Leonard: "Oh, hey. I just heard back from the liquid helium guy."
Sheldon: "What's he say?"
Leonard: "He's got what we need and can meet us tonight."
Sheldon: "Oh, really? You know I don't like buying things at night. January 7, 2009. I went to the Ralph's at 11:30pm to pick up Cracklin' Oat Bran for the morning and what did I see?"
Leonard: "The man restocking the cereal shelves."
Sheldon: "That's right. And what did he do?"
Leonard: "He handed you the box directly and called you Stretch."
Sheldon: "It's like it was yesterday."
Leonard: "Do you want liquid helium or not?"
Sheldon: "Of course I do. I don't want that Swedish team scooping us."
Leonard: "Then I'm going to tell him we're in."

Leonard och Sheldon får en adress till ett parkeringsgarage där de möter Kenny Fitzgerald (Michael Rapaport), men en lång diskussion uppstårsom mer eller mindre spårar ur och till slut är Kenny på väg att dra sig ur affären. Leonard får dra det korta strået och berätta sanningen:

Leonard: "We're physicists, and we're trying to prove a hypothesis that we've been working on for over a year."
Kenny: "Really? What's the hypothesis?"
Sheldon: "Space-time can be interpreted as the surface of an n-dimensional superfluid."
Kenny: "Hmm. Could be, could be. Go on."
Leonard: "Okay, but now there's this Swedish team that read our paper and they're trying to beat us to our own discovery. We really need this helium."
Sheldon: "And I'm sorry I lied about being a wedding planner who can't find love. Although I am currently single, if you know anybody."
Leonard: "Here's the money. Can we do this?"
Kenny: "Okay. It's a shame about those scientists ripping you off. I expected a higher ethical standard from our friends in Sweden."
Leonard: "It's actually pretty common in our field. Not much you can do about it."

Affären sker och Sheldon och Leonard tar med sig den stora cylindern till universitetet, men väl där får de kalla fötter:

Leonard: "Listen, we can do the experiment as planned and beat the Swedish team to the punch, or we can kiss our dreams good-bye because we were to afraid to break a few rules."
Leonard: "Ma'am."

Med heliumet tillbakalämnat så summerar Sheldon ihop det ganska fint:

Sheldon: "Well, the Swedes might beat us, but at least we won't get gang-noogied in prison."
Leonard: "Is Ernest Goes to Jail the only prison movie you've seen?"
Sheldon: "It scared me straight, Leonard."